Tuesday, February 18, 2014

THE VESSEL


We have words so that we do not bleed

We have paint so that we do not shatter and splatter the inner workings of our artist’s minds and tragic human hearts onto pieces of paper and canvases.

We have skins that contain us, our beautiful amazing essence that flows through our blood stream gushing, pulsating and giving us life. 

It is good that we have these skins so that we do not ooze that essence away like forgotten bath water after the temperature has run cold.

We have hands that help us shape the world around us, moulding, malleable like a piece of play dough
Imagine what the world would look like if we turned our insides out

Laeeka Khan


Image source:

Saturday, November 30, 2013

The messiness of my humanity...


Today I cut myself open, I allowed my heart to bleed at ease
I allowed my needs to ooze through my veins; let out the messiness of my humanity

It was more than I could handle
Too much for me to say

Not much my people could handle without a look of utter dismay 

The thing about the day
Was that I’d had enough
I was tired and weary of pretending to be tough.

The day turned into night and my persona got a grip
It picked up the rest of the pieces that I’d otherwise let slip…

My tongue got really heavy, the words I had were slurring

People looked my way at my wild eye but to be quite honest, I was way beyond caring.  

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Saturday, November 9, 2013

Today, I woke up...


As I woke from my deepest state of slumber I felt a sense of loss
Bereft, ripped from the womb of sleep, torn away from another realm
In my dreams I felt the machinations of possibility
I dwelled for a feverish few hours in a hot mess of creative alchemy
Words, shapes, form that made no sense whatsoever where suddenly swimming before my eyes in delightful patterns

I felt that I could reach out and that there would be no ceiling
No limit to the creativity that I could immerse myself in
No idea too big, too small or too ridiculous for me to try
Too soon the vacuuming suction cup of life dragged me out
Kicking and screaming silently and against my will I left my dream self
Watching her fade away with my proverbial nose pressed up against the glass
As I stretched out a weary arm, trying for all I was worth to hang on to my dream like state, I felt instead...

A cool calm realisation
A sense of peace and yet a keening sense of loss
But also a little fire that kindled a light behind my eyes

Knowing that soon I would be back again….

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The day I lost my mind, I found myself...


My mind ground to a halt today

I stopped short; the pencil that I had been scribbling with furiously refused to scratch the papers surface.

Not because I had no further ideas, in fact my mind was buzzing with them…

The difference today was that my mind had had enough


Today my mind rebelled

Throwing out all vestiges of convention

Like a hot oozy mess of sticky marshmallows, the essence of who I am came trickling out

It was a weird sensation that day that I lost control

I felt a sense of release that was not unlike an over stretched rubber band breaking free

Or even like cooked spaghetti writhing about deliciously in a vat of creamy sauce

It was a day that I had decided that like the foot that grows large, swollen and weary at the end of the day and refuses to be stuffed back into a conventional shoe...

That my mind was going to relax and take its own organic shape

Whether that meant sleeping for half a day or baking brownies until my arms hurt

I was still not sure

All I knew was that on this day

I chose freedom


On this day, I chose more….









Wednesday, October 9, 2013

The Voice


I modulate my voice, or so I've heard
No anger, no sorrow not even swayed by the absurd

In carefully measured tones I greet my days
No charm, no sound, no searing gaze

The sweet even temper
That means I’m never off kilter

I’ll have you know before I go…

That it is the very same seed
That’s going to make me bleed

The day will come when I will rupture the membrane
Cheer, shout out, act all insane

For the facade that I keep up is a no easy feat
It is time to come forward, it is time to meet...

The sensual longing, the smouldering presence, the person that expresses herself so passionately

The person that is unmistakably, unshakably, inimitably ME!






Sunday, September 8, 2013

The lesson


The one thing that I dislike in you, strikes a chord in me...
Why is that?

That the very thing I abhor in you, resonates within my being...

Is it weakness?
Is it a flaw?
Is it strength?

When with morbid fascination I keep returning for more...

As I gaze upon your behaviour for an eternity

Fascinated…not to see you

But a reflection of me…


Laeeka Khan 

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Ditch the lines and the boxes!





The teacher presided over the classroom, monitoring the hand writing of every single child in class. It was first grade and the emphasis was on neatness, holding the pencil with precision and as much as possible trying to get the little children to write with their right hands. 

Johnny in the corner of the classroom was doing battle with his pencil, slipping and smudging graphite residue on his newly starched shirt. After days of having written on lined paper, he found that today he was struggling to write in neat little lines, purely because this time, the teacher was testing them. The sheets before him were unlined. 

The teacher bent over him in frustration and reprimanded him for not being able to keep a straight line, with his writing especially since he was able to every other day in his lined workbook. 

Fast forward twenty years later to a conversation that he had with a friend of his in the campus cafeteria. Johnny’s friend idly picked up his study notebook, nestling between the two cappuccinos at the table and flicked through. It wasn’t a remarkable notebook, but what stood out was Johnny’s neat, military- precision like handwriting contained within the lines on each page. 

Johnny’s friend questioned him about his super tidy hand writing, to which Johnny recounted the episode with his teacher that was the pivotal moment that had brought him to such precise and orderly handwriting. He explained in detail how his teacher had frowned upon the fact that his scratchy scrawl filled the unlined pages at weird angles and arches totally at odds with following a linear structure like he ought to. 

Upon hearing this Johnny’s friend sighed deeply, placed a reassuring arm on his shoulder and said…
If only that teacher saw what YOU did on that day. If only your teacher saw that even at the age of five that you were streets ahead, possessing the wisdom and the foresight to be the only one in class that was being FREE in a liberated space. 


Image source:

http://www.whatifspecialist.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/box.jpg