Today, I woke up...

As I woke from my deepest state of slumber I felt a sense of loss

Bereft, ripped from the womb of sleep, torn away from another realm

In my dreams I felt the machinations of possibility

I dwelled for a feverish few hours in a hot mess of creative alchemy

Words, shapes, form that made no sense whatsoever where suddenly swimming before my eyes in delightful patterns

I felt that I could reach out and that there would be no ceiling

No limit to the creativity that I could immerse myself in

No idea too big, too small or too ridiculous for me to try

Too soon the vacuuming suction cup of life dragged me out

Kicking and screaming silently and against my will I left my dream self

Watching her fade away with my proverbial nose pressed up against the glass

As I stretched out a weary arm, trying for all I was worth to hang on to my dream like state, I felt instead...

A cool calm realisation

A sense of peace and yet a keening sense of loss

But also a little fire that kindled a light behind my eyes

Knowing that soon I would be back again….

Image source:

http://www.pinterest.com/pin/225039312603868914/

Dressed for success?

I have dreams and ambitions, like doing things that fulfill my creative spirit and soul but I somehow just can’t find it in me to get up the juice to do what I want to do. 

I came to a bit of a realization. It’s not quite the fear of failure that stops me from pursuing my life’s goals. It is in fact the fear of success. 

Yes, I am one of those few out there that is a bit intimidated at the prospect of success. I know it’s out there. I can smell it and almost taste it, I have even glimpsed into the window of my capabilities and I know the things that I am capable of and then some. 

Bear with me for a moment now, instead of rolling your eyes skyward. It may sound egotistical at first, after all who is ever really scared of their full potential, isn’t it the one thing that we have been striving toward all our lives? 

Change I can do pretty easily, battling negatives, struggling for a voice, pushing the norms, determination to make financial ends meet, crusading for a cause and survival at all costs, are all the kinds of activities that are right up my alley. 

Success means change, big change at that, the kind that requires me to stretch like a rubber band in a number of different directions. I know how to fight for what I believe in, but do I know how to create and enjoy my own success. That is the ultimate question?