The messiness of my humanity...

Today I cut myself open, I allowed my heart to bleed at ease

I allowed my needs to ooze through my veins; let out the messiness of my humanity

It was more than I could handle

Too much for me to say

Not much my people could handle without a look of utter dismay 

The thing about the day

Was that I’d had enough

I was tired and weary of pretending to be tough.

The day turned into night and my persona got a grip

It picked up the rest of the pieces that I’d otherwise let slip…

My tongue got really heavy, the words I had were slurring

People looked my way at my wild eye but to be quite honest, I was way beyond caring.  

Image source:

http://www.pinterest.com/pin/79164905921827885/

The day I lost my mind, I found myself...

My mind ground to a halt today

I stopped short; the pencil that I had been scribbling with furiously refused to scratch the papers surface.

Not because I had no further ideas, in fact my mind was buzzing with them…

The difference today was that my mind had had enough

Today my mind rebelled

Throwing out all vestiges of convention

Like a hot oozy mess of sticky marshmallows, the essence of who I am came trickling out

It was a weird sensation that day that I lost control

I felt a sense of release that was not unlike an over stretched rubber band breaking free

Or even like cooked spaghetti writhing about deliciously in a vat of creamy sauce

It was a day that I had decided that like the foot that grows large, swollen and weary at the end of the day and refuses to be stuffed back into a conventional shoe...

That my mind was going to relax and take its own organic shape

Whether that meant sleeping for half a day or baking brownies until my arms hurt

I was still not sure

All I knew was that on this day

I chose freedom

On this day, I chose more….

Image source: http://pickadirection.com

Don't finish before you've begun

Do not race toward the finish line before the start gun has even been fired

You may lose the momentum, drop the pace, and lose the game

Play today, play today’s move

Make it count

It is never too late.

Laeeka Khan 

Image source: http://theignitedlifedotcom.files.wordpress.com

It goes unsaid

They do not tell you of the heartbreak, of the worn soles of your feet and the even more world weary nature of your spirit

They did not say you would be eyeball deep in debt or ‘reserve tank’ low on love

They did not say that you would have to use your hands as shields, as tools and in some cases as weapons

To do so would have meant a life consigned to living in a shell, of emptiness, of nothing, of regret.

Laeeka Khan

Image source:www.wadyn.com

Creatively desperate

I cling to my keyboard, much in the same way an artist may cling to his easel.

A DJ to his turntables, a person to a lifeboat that offers that final word in salvation

I cling with all my might to that which brings me a sense of creativity...

It is my source of light

Laeeka Khan

Image source- http://jeffdegraff.com